I am interested in hearing how each of you would teach a student individually (or as a class) how to develop a good body paragraph of an essay. First I'd like to know the following: What constitutes a good body paragraph? In other words, what are you looking to find in a paragraph in the body of an essay?
Second, I'd be interested in your providing us with a thesis statement about any one of the stories (according to our definition,i.e. that it be debatable), followed up with one well-developed paragraph using a brief passage of at least one well-selected sentence from the story please. If you find yourself having trouble with it, please post what you came up with, explain the problem you are having, and ask others for help. If others see things missing from people's paragraphs or believe that well-developed paragraphs need more than people are putting into them, please say so, and provide an example of one of your own. You must write on one of the stories we have discussed.
Please don't forget to assign "Rose for Emily" to students.
We are now one class period behind due to the snow day this week. Any recommendations or suggestions? I am open to them. Since I will not be seeing you this Monday because of President's Day, feel free to email me or make some suggestions here after you post.
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I think we are actually two class periods behind -- we cancelled two Wed in a row.
ReplyDeleteI think a good body paragraph starts out letting the reader know what the paragraph will be about and then supports that with more thought and information. I think it's a difficult question to answer blanket-ly: but a decent paragraph in a lit paper should have about 7-8 sentences and it should stick to a topic and then lead into the next paragraph without straying from its original "theme." In other words, the paragraphs should make their own statements, but somehow all flow together.
Robin
Are you or will someone present us with a sample debatable thesis statement based on one of the stories, followed by one well-developed body paragraph? It can be a team-written effort (i.e. by two or more of you, just let us know who got together to write it please).
ReplyDeleteThe black man in the story missed perhaps his greatest opportunity to combat the oppression waged against him and will continue to be treated like a second-class citizen for his failure to assert himself.
ReplyDeleteRowing his boat over the boulders placed by various civilizations who had faced oppression and racism before him, the man should have seized this chance to claim what were rightfully his -- his unborn child and his manhood. Instead, he deferred to the white girl, who unilaterally decided to have an abortion. He has the wherewithall to be a man and accept the responsibility of his actions and of having a child. However, he allowed his white lover to define his role in this situation and was afraid to stand up and confront her racism. He was good enough to date and have intercourse with; he should have asked her why he wasn't good enough to be a father to their baby or her husband. This shows that he will continue to live his life through someone else's standards.
Very debatable! Thank you for taking the risk. I hope others follow in your footsteps now that you've paved the way! I am opening up another question to you and everyone else: What evidence do we have in the story that this young man has the ability to be responsible for his actions and for having a child? Is there a passage to support this assertion? Is there an incident or event to support it? Explain.
ReplyDeleteFeel free to move on if you wish also.
1. A good body paragraph should effectively develop or support an idea or argument that helps form a coherent whole with the material before and after the paragraph in question. It should be coherent and focused. Likewise, it should be of a sufficient length to make its point; I agree with Robin that this should be around 7 or 8, well-developed sentences. There should also be transition sentences to fit the paragraph into the essay and topic sentences to introduce the idea.
ReplyDeleteTo address #2 and the subsequent question in the comments from Dr. Pruss:
In Russel Banks's short story, "Black Man and White Woman in Dark Green Rowboat," the situation that the young black man "hates" (81) is more than simply than the act of terminating a pregnancy, it's the sum of circumstances that necessitate the abortion as well its reflection of his own sense of powerlessness.
-Daniel Mortensen
The girl in Hemingway’s short story Hills like White Elephants is unable to safeguard her integrity as an individual because she ‘s enslaved by her feelings of inadequacy and her credulous disinclination for self preservation puts her in the man’s power more than is healthy to foster a loving relationship.
ReplyDeleteHer inability to heed her better judgment regarding her relationship is reason enough to suppose that she is bound by her feelings for her manipulative lover at the risk of her own well being in the long run. She discounts her intuitive recognition that something is definitely more than amiss which is evident in the scene where she looks into the distance at the hills as she tries one drink after another to ignore the true nature of her relationship with this man who says everything will be just fine after the abortion. She sees his inability to understand that her issue is not just terminating her pregnancy but also the implications of his detached attitude. She doubts the sincerity of his affection and she asks him “Doesn’t it mean anything to you? We could get along” (543) Her newfound knowledge that she probably doesn’t mean very much to him is disconcerting to her. Even so, she seems careful not to vex him with a sincere conversation about their relationship and is unable to break free because she’s dependent on him, more emotionally and habitually than in any other way. She ignores her inner voice and compromises her integrity in a bid to satisfy a peripheral need thereby plunging further into an abyss of selflessness.
Both the woman in Hemingway's story and the man in Banks's story resent their inability to control their lovers. Both stories also show the tendency humans have to avoid red flags in love relationships. This is a large part of the reason so many marriages fail.
ReplyDeleteYou are all hitting on excellent points. I can't wait to hear more.
I like what Robin and Daniel have said about the body paragraph and I'm probably reiterating some of their thoughts.
ReplyDeleteA good body paragraph should provide relevant information to support the main idea of the paper. The opening sentence of a paragraph usually states the main point of discussion to be and the following sentences elaborate and support the argument. I think it would work even if the paragraph starts off with an argument or explanation of facts and then states the main point at the end of the paragraph so long as the reader is not at sea as to where the discussion is headed.
Okay, I am going to write a paragraphs as if I were a student composing an essay on the topic of "powerlessness." Anyone can comment on the good points and/or the problems with any part or parts of this student's work, or you can just ignore this post, but maybe this will be easier than writing your own paragraph here.
ReplyDeleteStudent A:
Topic: Powerlessness
Thesis Statement: Banks' and Hemingway's stories* demonstrate the difficult truth that despite cultural constructs no person can control another's feelings and actions for the long term.
*stories' titles were mentioned earlier in intro
Body paragraph on Banks:
Both the young man and young lady in Banks's story are physically attractive, she in her "lime green terry-cloth bikini" and he, "tall and though slender, muscular"(79), and they find each other good looking. The narrator reports:
The man studied the wedge of her crotch,
then her navel, where a puddle of sweat
was collecting, then the rise of her
small breasts, and finally her long
throat glistening in the sunlight.
(79)
The endearing details of this description demonstrate the care with which the young man observed her and the pleasure his eyes took in her beauty. For example the word "studied" connotes the seriousness with which he takes her body; he does not treat her as an object he takes lightly and the phrases "puddle of sweat" and "glistening in the sunlight" show the enjoyment he takes in the texture of her skin even when sweating. Similarly, the young girl looks at the young man "and smiled at him. 'You look lik an Arab. A sheik.'" (79). Nonetheless, neither the young man nor the girl is able to convince the other of their attractiveness, let alone of their intelligence. The girl insists, "I'm already putting on weight" (80); she also will not trust the young man's advice that the relationship will not recover after her abortion: "It won't be all right afterwards. It'll be lousy" (81). The young girl is totally deaf to the words of the young man. Similarly, the young man's low self-esteem interferes with his ability to accept the girl's complements. After she admires him as an exotic sheik, he responds that he sees himself as "'A galley slave, more likely'" (80). He is unable to get out of his own past. Also, when the young girl comments to the young man, regarding her plans to listen to her mother and have the abortion, "'I suppose you'd rather I jsut did nothing'" (81), he does not offer he any alternative. He makes her no offer of marriage, financial support, and provides no other choice for her or works out no other plan with her. Thus, neither the young girl or the young boy can control the way each of them feel about their physical self-image or the actions they will take regarding their futures-- to have the abortion or to settle down in a relationship.
Is this a good single body paragraph? Should it be one paragraph? Is it coherent?
Does it have one central idea or more than one? What's going on here? How could it be fixed (if it needs to be fixed)?
It's up to you if you want to take this on or not. You don't have to. I just thought it might be helpful, but who knows?
The quotation above looked blocked --"The man studied ... sunlight" (which is what I wanted and the page 79 is supposed to be all the way over to the right which is where it was in the box, but it did not print that way. Sorry!)
ReplyDeleteYou should find typos and grammatical errors in the paragraph!!!!
ReplyDeleteI could restate what has already been said about what constitutes a good paragraph in an essay, but my expectations are similar to the ones already shared by my peers. My one discrepancy is that I think a solid paragraph can be established in 5-6 sentences. After that, I think that our students will most likely began to ramble and restate what they already said without presenting new ideas just to fill the sentence "quota".
ReplyDeleteLike Sunita said, I believe, a paragraph follows an established theme that reiterates points to support the thesis. Many writers don't seem to struggle with the content of the paragraph as much as they struggle with the transitioning between paragraphs. A good writer will provide a seamless switch from one paragraph, and point, to the next. If we can work with our students on this point, their writing will undoubtedly improve tenfold - as they focus more on the transitioning, they will have to decide on what it is they are saying exactly in their essay, and how it relates to point previously offered.
Yes, transitions let students know if a paragraph even belongs in the essay at all. Good point! Also, transitions force students to think about the order of magnitude of each major point they are making. Which points should take more priority and which should take less priority and why? These are important things to think about, and not always easy to decide. Finally, if the instructor is going to put his/her grade at the end of the paper, it's probably best for the student to place his/her best idea last and to structure his/her essay so it builds to his/her best point. We should probably let our students know that.
ReplyDeleteA good paragraph should be coherent, well organized, about 7-8 well written sentences. The paragraph should make a point that the student is trying to prove about their thesis. It should give good evidence and also should support what the student is trying to say. It goes without saying that the paragraph should be grammatically correct with proper citations. I think each paragraph should have good transitions that allow the essay to flow.
ReplyDeleteA good body paragraph has to have three components: Topic Sentence, Primary Support, Secondary Support. The topic sentence is like a mini-thesis. It will relate back to the thesis of the paper and make a specific argument toward defending that thesis. The Primary Support basically explains that topic sentence and argues why the proposition is true, in fairly general terms. The Secondary Support is more specific, usually quoting directly from the source or research material to further prove the point. It’s important, here, that writers remember not to use dangling quotations. I think that’s about what a “good” paragraph should have. An “excellent” paragraph would probably include transitional sentences and lead seamlessly into the next paragraph.
ReplyDeleteErnest Hemingway uses a number of subtle devices throughout “Hills Like White Elephants” to draw attention to the fact that the man in the story has a negative view of the woman, including the use of the number two, key phrases of dialogue, and even the names of the two characters.
Hemingway uses the repeated theme of “two” throughout the story “Hills Like White Elephants” to emphasize the chaos the unborn child brings to the relationship between the American and Jig. Dichotomy is a simple way for people to view the world: day and night, light and dark, us and them, yin and yang, women and men. These concepts are fairly easy to understand and work to maintain a less complicated view of a complex world. The couple was, presumably, happy when they did not have to worry about having a baby. The problem occurs when the “couple” is in danger of becoming a “trio.” Hemingway uses the word “two” ten times throughout the short story, the first appearance being in the second sentence. “On this side there was no shade and no trees and the station was between two lines of rails in the sun” (540). He goes on to describe minutes, beer, coasters, beads, and bags all in pairs. The repetition of “two” serves as a reflection of the couple and a reminder of what once was, and what can never be again. The woman, as the vessel of the “third party,” then carries the blame for disrupting their previously harmonious relationship. In addition to the focus on the number two, Hemingway emphasizes the concept of the woman at fault through dialogue.
Thank you for the insight about the number two; I always saw the dichotomies but never thought of them in those numerological terms, Chris. I like the way you put that.
ReplyDeleteI'd like someone to help elucdiate Hemingway's views of "the concept of the woman at fault" in the story. What is this about? Does she take on the the blame, or is she given the blame? What evidence does the story provide?
I open this up to anyone or no one, as you wish. So many questions come up out of this blog for me.
My biggest issue with your paragraph is how it relates to your thesis statement. The paragraph logically builds to the last sentence, where you conclude that, “neither the young girl or the young boy can control the way each of them feel about their physical self-image or the actions they will take regarding their futures…” But your thesis statement was all about controlling another person’s feelings and actions FOR THE LONG TERM. If anything, I think the Banks story says that person’s action CAN be controlled in the long term: witness how the girl is still controlled by her mother—pending a radical transformation, the girl will continue to be enslaved by her mother’s (and the trailer park’s) socio-cultural inertia. This seems to be what the narrator is saying allegorically at the end of the story, as the trailer park residents watch the girl “step carefully out of the boat and walk to WHERE SHE LIVED WITH HER MOTHER (83, emphasis mine).
ReplyDeleteAlso, I don’t understand when you say in your thesis statement, “despite cultural constructs.” What are these cultural constructs? I find the word “despite” particularly engaging—does this mean that those cultural constructs would lead us to believe that another person’s feeling and actions CAN be controlled for the long term?
PS I don't believe in extensive and dogmatic "rules" for a good body paragraph--like "it should be 7-8 sentences," or "it must contain a focused well-developed monkey." A good body paragraph just FEELS right! Is this a "bad" philosophy? Don't worry, I don't tell my students that this is what I thnk!
ReplyDeleteI don't worry;I put this question here because the conversation is an important one to have; it's important for us to think about the rules we were taught and their limitations but also to consider how to teach at all without any guidelines. Teaching about something called an essay, which must have some sort of structure, to students today, who do not have a lot of experience in reading or having read many essays, is a great challenge for teachers/ professors.
ReplyDeleteAlso, talking about a great body paragraph and writing one are two different things.
I am so glad someone dealt with my "student body paragraph" finally! Bravo to you Chris!!! Thanks for looking at it. Yes, you began to notice some of the problems there. There are a lot more problems to speak about and a lot of potential too. It would be interesting for someone to figure out how to deal with that "student paragraph" in terms of paper number one. What would you write to that student? What questions would you ask? What encouraging comments would you give the student, and what leading/guiding questions would you write,so that student could revise that section of the paper well? How would you lead that student to revise his/her thesis statement through questions?
I am trying to help you with practical situations on this blog. I hope you can see that.
P.S. Chris, there is no "bad philosophy." Whatever works for you, works! Use wisdom in what you say to your first year students. "Meet them where they are at," so to speak! That is my best advice.
Okay, okay... here's my “student paragraph.” Wanna tell me all about my problems?
ReplyDeleteJamaica Kincaid's "Girl" is an argument that, even though it looks like the girl is being “enslaved” by the mother, the mother wants what is best for the girl and doesn't want her to make the same mistakes the mother probably made when she was young.
The mother character tries to teach the daughter skills that she will need later in life. In most cultures, it is the job of the mothers to make sure that their daughters learn things like this. After all, a young girl has to be trained and educated in many things in order to be a properly functioning member of society, and the ultimate responsibility naturally falls on the mother to make sure that the daughter is brought up properly in the ways of being a woman. She teaches the girl lessons that she needs to hear in order to eat: “...this is how to make a bread pudding, this is how to make doukona...” (723), “...this is how you grow okra...” (723), “...this is how to catch a fish...” (723). If the girl wants to eat when mother isn't around to cook for her, she had better listen closely! She teaches the girl to take care of clothes: “...this is how to sew on a button...” (723), “...this is how you her a dress when you see the hem coming down...” (723). If the girl wants to be dressed properly, she had better attend closely, and be grateful for the lesson! She teaches the girl important lessons of social propriety: “...this is how you set a table for tea...” (723), “...always eat your food in such a way that it won't turn someone else's stomach... (723). If the girl wants to be liked and accepted by her society, her mother is the one who can help her do that! All in all, the mother wants the girl to grow up to be a successful woman. Isn't that what every mother wants? The mother does not enslave the girl, or take advantage of her in any way—she is rather the daughter's advocate and closest ally in the daughter's struggle for socially acceptable Womanhood.
Haha... 723 723 723 723 723 723 723 723 723 723
ReplyDeleteHi Chris,
ReplyDeleteNo, I don't want to be the critic, but I sure hope your peers will take that role, so that all of you feel more comfortable taking that role with each other, which means acknowledging what is good and offering constructive criticism. Otherwise, how will you help one another grow, and what is the use of giving someone your paper to read??? Each one of you has something to teach the next person, and all of you are missing out by not learning from each other. That's my theory for today. Tomorrow I will have another one.
One positive comment: I like the opposing thesis to our class conversation,Chris, that the mother is the daughter's ally.
One question (to work with our grading of the first paper): Please provide evidence that the daughter has any desire to achieve "socially acceptable womanhood."
Oops! Thanks for having the courage to write the paragraph, Chris.
ReplyDeleteI'm still waiting for someone to write the Prof's/Instructor's questions on mine (my student paragraph).